For me writing the being baby challenge is very heartbreaking and going through all the pains again. Very tedious task. But still wanna give it a try.
After many years of marriage I mean a love marriage, where you trust your better half more than yourself (for me trusting someone more than myself is the biggest thing even more than trusting ones parents, may be that’s the reason I am suffering or being punished) and suddenly at point of time you come to know that your better half has cheated you and when you try to digest that peace of news you come face to face with one more heart breaking fact that they in actual words betrayed you and crushed your feelings and self respect under their feet.
At this point of time I was so much broken and lost that till now I am stumbling to stand up from the ground. I am learning to have faith and confidence in myself. Like a baby I am trying to hold on for support to fightback and learn that I can do it. But it is very hard because I always fall down. All the environment around me is so different. Everyday I am struggling to trust what they say and doubting them at the same time. When I am out, sometimes it freaks me out that what if my better half leave or forget me. These days I am trying to learn how to laugh or smile or how to react to different situations in my life post this truth that I am not alone in my better half’s life. As a child tries to attract the attention I am trying to attract my better half’s attention or so I feel. I took classes just to learn how to live normally. Everyday of my life since then I am getting to know something new about them and my tryst is always how to cope with it. I am redefining myself. For me the biggest throwback is my own self! I never knew I could be so calm on such a matter, because I’ve always been on front foot to tackle any such unjust to my friends. Now every new day I am learning to confront myself. Every single day I am trying to face my depressive thoughts without harm. At least my first step I’ve taken correct and kept firm, that I came out of severe depression. I don’t know whether I will ever be cured from self harming situation or not because I am still in learning process, every day every situation.
In nutshell I am learning to live and trust again. Trying to regain lost self confidence.
My expressions 
Lots of wishes! Stay good.
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