Papa…through my eyes

Papa was posted out of home town after ten years for the first time. We accompanied him. He was very particular about everything so that we don’t have to face any problem regarding anything. From house to school and house help. Because it was the first time for us to be separated from our big joint family, and maa had to maintain the household all by herself.

Back at home, there were many people to help in house hold work and take care of me and my younger brother. Here it was all to be done by maa and papa without any help. But, as I mentipned papa was particular about making arrangements of home and house help we got a beautiful home and the house helps were provided by his office. So, now only problem left was our school. That too was solved soon but he was still worried about me that how will I manage in school all by myself. As, back at home I was accompanied by my cousins and sibling and here I had to attend school alone, all by myself and that too at such a tender age of 12.

Papa was so much worried about me that one day he came over to my school to just pay me a visit and confirm that I was doing well. He saw me sitting all alone in the quiet corner of the playground area(as it was recess time) and went straight to principal’s office. I was then called. This made me nervous as I couldn’t understand what mistake I made. On the way to her office, my legs were shaking and there were cramps in stomach. In her office, when I saw papa, sitting very serious, I felt afraid and confused and couldn’t understand what have I done so bad that they had to call papa. I wanted to run away but papa noticed saw me and my teary eyes and face as pale as dry grass. I stopped dead at the door. He arose from the chair and walked towards me. My heart was beating in my mouth, as fast as express train. He came near me and lifted his hand, placed on my head and asked why did I sat alone in a corner? We were given extra time after recess was over to talk. He looked at me and asked if everything was okay? But now I know and deeply believe that he came there to make sure for himself that I was safe and doing well.

One another such day, I was suffering from stomach flue but couldn’t take leave from school as exams were coming near. At school, classes started after Zero period in which we had some physical activities. From the ground I saw Papa pacing up and down the corridor in front of our class and Principal was standing along with him. She signaled me to comeover. When I reached them, Papa was already at the top of the small flight of stairs. He asked about my stomach ache and gave me some syrup. He even made sure that I will go straight to the class and take rest. Then he said to principal that if required she should call him. After he left, she said that I was one lucky girl to have him around and that he cared so much about his li’l princess. He came all the way just to make sure that I am OK. He was one worried parent who loved his daughter so much.

Though thirty-four years have passed, I cannot forget what my principal said about him, ever. Those words are engraved in my heart so deep that they will never ever fade.

I always remember Papa with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes. His loss is something I can never cope with. As I mentioned in my previous post, I am writing a memoir about him but fighting a turmoil of emotions to complete. This post is one small example of it, which I planned weeks back but had no courage to start and when started, completed today but posting it without any re-reads or corrections. Hope I am forgiven for that.

Writing a memoir.

Hi dear fellow bloggers and writers.

I was thinking to a write a memoir from a long time but was not able to start. The reason was that I couldn’t decide upon the topic. I am not a big personality nor a known figure, so, at a point gave up the idea. As who would like to read my memoir but then a point striked in my mind. It is, basically a theme for my photo album, about my father.

The time spent with a loving father, who is no more to guide you, is the most cherished treasure for any child. That said, I chose to write a memoir about him. Anyone can relate to the emotion, easily.

So, I planned two-three subtopics along that main idea. And started working upon them. Recently, wrote outlines for the first few chapters. But, I felt the need to break from writing the memoir. Because, the memories are overwhelming and I cannot take it in one go. So, just to find the support and comfort, I turned to you people, who are my strength and supporters in times of breakdown.

The memoir is called, ‘ Remembering father, through the eyes of a daughter.’ Hope you understand what I meant by saying ‘overwhelming’. I have to go down the memory lane to fetch the most minute details. Every time, I come out of the dream world when Papa was alive, I get hit by the harsh truth of his demise, long ago. This makes me emotionally robbed once again.

These are the times when I need him by my side, the most. I understand that whatever your age may be, but your first comforting shoulder is of your father. In any trouble, you look upto him for support. And today I am feeling lonely. In his absence I am all lost. The feeling of emptiness engulf

My heart map

Reflection of feelings

What goes in my writing planner?

These days BUJO is a hap thing. But for me it never worked. As I am a person of many words. I love to elaborate my feelings. So, normal Journaling is what I prefer.

It doesn’t mean I never use BUJO. I do and it comes handy in planning my writing, of any kind.

My Writing Planner

In here, go many things related to my writing schedule. From blog writing to book writing to scheduling their posting and when to write what.
In it I plan for my social media presence ( which are very few) and about my reading plan also. I also plan the check list, a week ahead.

Weekly Planner

.point wise plan
.day wise detailing

Point wise

Detailed

Detailed

Last Week

Each last week of the month is dedicated to some other activities for which I don’t get the time in the first three weeks of the month. Like Monday is for lesser known historical facts, Tuesday for podcasts, Wednesday for thoughts, Thursday is a gap, Friday is for preparing videos, Saturday for character sketch, scene development, etc.

My Blog’s weekly Check List

In it goes the one week in advance planning related to my blog. Such as, emails to be mailed, social media posts, blog posts for the coming week, Vlog and Podcast content and planning for engagement with fellow bloggers and writers.

Keys

I have made a page for keys so that I can track the development if my ongoing work.

May be your writing Planner is different from mine. I would love to know what else you all include in your writing Planner and is it a, Bujo or descriptive.