In search of Comfort…

From past 2 – 3 days I am not my normal self. I thought of working on my memoir but could not do so.

Reason? CORONA ! My hubby is detected moderately Corona positive. And I am not by his side. As I told in my previous blogs that I have come to my brother’s place and I am stuck here in month long lockdown. Even there at my place also it’s lockdown.

Though his treatment is going on at home and he says he is going g fine so I should not bother much and should not rush to him with children, as flight is the place to catch infection and that will be more problematic. Moreover, I won’t be able to go near him so it’s safe that I stay where I am.

Just to lighten up when I tried TV it was all filled with Corona news and all sort of negative information. When I turned to movies, I couldn’t stop thinking about him which again brought the sad reality.

I tried my social apps but of no use. E erywhere I hear about it. Last but not least, I turned back to YouTube and there I tried all my followed channels but of no use. I even tried talk down meditation and self hypnosis but nothing actually helped. Then, I found a channel of a couple who have left their settled life in city and me their home in hills. That channel brought me so much relief that I subscribed them. While searching for more such channels I came across one another guy who is a local Vlogger and till two days back was going through the same problem as mine. Actually, his father was hospitalized due to CORONA. He, too unlike me was searching for something to comfort himself during that period. YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, movies but couldn’t console himself and his work as a vlogger suffered a lot.

But, atleast I got the point that I am not alone who is at unrest and not over reacting. Now, as I understand diverting my interest to something new I may give rest to troubled mind plus one more thing I have found out that mountains are calling me too. Not the commercial areas but the rural or outskirts. The calm and peaceful life made me cry. The serenity of the mountains is so addictive. I don’t know whether I will get to experience that life or not but for now it is calming and comforting my alarmed soul.

I pray for safety of all. Be careful.

Writing a memoir.

Hi dear fellow bloggers and writers.

I was thinking to a write a memoir from a long time but was not able to start. The reason was that I couldn’t decide upon the topic. I am not a big personality nor a known figure, so, at a point gave up the idea. As who would like to read my memoir but then a point striked in my mind. It is, basically a theme for my photo album, about my father.

The time spent with a loving father, who is no more to guide you, is the most cherished treasure for any child. That said, I chose to write a memoir about him. Anyone can relate to the emotion, easily.

So, I planned two-three subtopics along that main idea. And started working upon them. Recently, wrote outlines for the first few chapters. But, I felt the need to break from writing the memoir. Because, the memories are overwhelming and I cannot take it in one go. So, just to find the support and comfort, I turned to you people, who are my strength and supporters in times of breakdown.

The memoir is called, ‘ Remembering father, through the eyes of a daughter.’ Hope you understand what I meant by saying ‘overwhelming’. I have to go down the memory lane to fetch the most minute details. Every time, I come out of the dream world when Papa was alive, I get hit by the harsh truth of his demise, long ago. This makes me emotionally robbed once again.

These are the times when I need him by my side, the most. I understand that whatever your age may be, but your first comforting shoulder is of your father. In any trouble, you look upto him for support. And today I am feeling lonely. In his absence I am all lost. The feeling of emptiness engulf

What goes in my writing planner?

These days BUJO is a hap thing. But for me it never worked. As I am a person of many words. I love to elaborate my feelings. So, normal Journaling is what I prefer.

It doesn’t mean I never use BUJO. I do and it comes handy in planning my writing, of any kind.

My Writing Planner

In here, go many things related to my writing schedule. From blog writing to book writing to scheduling their posting and when to write what.
In it I plan for my social media presence ( which are very few) and about my reading plan also. I also plan the check list, a week ahead.

Weekly Planner

.point wise plan
.day wise detailing

Point wise
Detailed
Detailed

Last Week

Each last week of the month is dedicated to some other activities for which I don’t get the time in the first three weeks of the month. Like Monday is for lesser known historical facts, Tuesday for podcasts, Wednesday for thoughts, Thursday is a gap, Friday is for preparing videos, Saturday for character sketch, scene development, etc.

My Blog’s weekly Check List

In it goes the one week in advance planning related to my blog. Such as, emails to be mailed, social media posts, blog posts for the coming week, Vlog and Podcast content and planning for engagement with fellow bloggers and writers.

Keys

I have made a page for keys so that I can track the development if my ongoing work.

May be your writing Planner is different from mine. I would love to know what else you all include in your writing Planner and is it a, Bujo or descriptive.

My situation

I am sorry for being so irregular. Actually, this past month was very confusing and lost. Turmoil is the word that describes best my mental condition from last couple of months. I start something and eventhough I put my best of interest in it, I can not continue.

I just keep it aside and sit lost and exhausted. Month of January, I assigned to reading and in 2 weeks were ok. I complete 3 1/2 books but after that the concentration started wandering. I am able to complete hardly 2 books in past months.

Whenever, I sit down to write there is something which I cannot describe and it doesn’t let me continue more than one day at maximum. I am bit tensed.

So, I have decided to take a leave of my present surrounding and go to my brother’s place for 2 months and leave all my tensions and worries here. May be it will give me some time to write and read.

Hope, it goes well.

What makes a friend?

The people we choose to let into our lives leave one of the greatest impacts on our hearts. Kenzoku “眷族” is a Japanese word that loosely translates to ‘family’. However, it suggests a deeper meaning: the deepest connection of friendship. It is camaraderie, the family we choose for ourselves. The other day I was marveling over […]

What makes a friend?

I agree with your thoughts so much that I reposted this.

Aah… this is called Heaven!

Coffee and heaven is synonymous, atleast for me. It is one sure shot medicine for all my problems and illnesses and even mood swings. The moment it came into my hand it changed the whole environment.

Now, for being absent from the picture for a long time. There is lot of turmoil going on in my personal life. There is so much confusion and because of that so much anxiety and irritation. So much anger that got point of vent in form of self hurt.

Few days back I came across a situation where I could finally, makeout that how the people committing suicide get courage to do so and after all what do they think in the decision making moment. And believe me its really frightening. That numbness doesn’t want anything else but just the way to engulf the life.

Actually, I was planning to write some other post few days back. In totally different mood. About my WIP and one small achievement of mine but sudden turn of luck brought me here, to this post.

I will surely share my happy mood post soon but today somehow gathered courage to write it down and share with you all. It makes me feel lighter and better. Above all, I feel surrounded by many warriors and their support.

I am glad, that you all keep tugging even though sometimes I am not around.

Thantophobia

Gosh..! Seems ages passed and I was like…Looking for something which had some meaning or atleast resonated with what I feel…and today at this time … 10.38 pm on 23rd Jan 21, I saw … a word which had every emotion I go through. …Thantophobia.

Since my childhood I’ve always hidden my actual feelings just in case If they are known, my loved ones will be dead or leave me alone. Some incidents in my childhood and early teens, confirmed it. And today I still struggle with the same fear. I have a feeling that I am still being haunted by it. May be its true, the fear. Though I am trying to overcome it but Time pushes my efforts back everytime and confirms that my fears are true.

India shines

Today is the most proud moment for India and each Indian. Thanks to the scientists who brought successful COVID vaccine and made India proud. Today not only WHO, but the whole world looks towards India.

The praise of WHO and their faith on the scientists is encouraging. The country is moving forward towards the self made status which the Prime Minister gave as motto to his country fellowmen. And hope is genrated for each one to stand upon their own instead of looking towards others. It gives hope that India will become a developed and progressive country soon.

This post can go very long but it will be like boasting self. So here I will close my post once again congratulating India and the Indians.