Coffee

Oh I know its not a new topic here on my blog as I already did 2 before this one. Or may be 3. But as the matter of fact , I am obsessed with the word coffee and the liquid itself, I can’t stop writing about it or getting inspired by it. It basically gives me a high feel. I mean when I am with my best pal, my coffee mug…I feel on top of the world. It makes me feel so content and satisfied that there is nothing in the world that can make me so fulfilled. Apart from my family ofcourse, but then living beings have a tendency to turn you down sometimes or the other no matter how close they are, but this darling of mine is just the same everytime i meet her. It wont complain of meeting after a long time or not meeting at all….or such things but will make me feel possitive everytime I am in the company. It always fills me with positive thoughts and make feel light hearted.

Today 8 habe two things to share with you, one, that my hubby got me two varieties of coffee from the coffee plantation estate he went to, for his work and bought me a coffee plunget, I was dreaming to get from quite a some time now. And the overwhelming reaction of mine hasn’t stopped till now, though coupl of days have passed snce I first hold in my hands. The mere thought of it makes me bubble with joy and the smioe starts to curve my lips. The amazing thing is that with these two new addition in coffee stack I have 5 varieties at my disposal to cater my mood. I am so happy with this knowladge that its just making me write about coffee on the verge of making others fright(because I dont think anyone might be writing that much on a go or so many posts on s8ngoe subject with same old feeling, of happiness ofcourse.ūüėÜ). I made coffee the whole day tomorrow for everyone and even was looking forward to guests who might turn up or should I invite them, was my quetion to my Mom in Law, over a coffee party…to which she was frightened and tried to pulled a hold on my edginess, lovingly petting on my shoulder and making fun of me. She too enjoyed the varieties of coffee I made.

The second thing which I want to share is an inspiration from Youtube video which showed an old British lady may be 80 years or so, doing salsa with a jaw dropping performance. All the judges were so dumbstruck by her performance that they couldn’t utter a word while she was in action. And when at last she told her story that how she had to give up her passion which she nurtured since she was a tod, after marriage and sattle in another country and her beloved husband passed away in just 18 months of them moving there and how she had look after her 4 children and take care of everything that when after years her children grew up she asked them if she can persue her career in dance and they all, as they are adorable children f adorable parents, encouraged their mother who once uad giben up all her dreams to upbring them. Now it was her time and there she stood in front of the judges and the audience of Britain Got Talent stage with the golden buzzer press3d for jer without a second thougt or even and further comments. This lady there has become my inspiration. I love her and adore her for being so courageous and not letting her dreams and hopes go away even after such a long time. I will stick to my dream and my hopes go. I will certainly do that onething I dreamt of, at any age…now onwards I wont think or feel disheartened by the fact that my age may not let me do or won’t suit to me after I am older…necause dreams dont have age limit they live long enough to be fulfilled. Its us who give up hope putting forth many excuses to hide our holessness. So from now on I am going to cling harder to my dream and will keep nudgging myself whenever I start loosing hope.

Hat’s off to you grand maa and my dearest coffee to keep smiling and believing that there is always a sunshine no matter how dark is the night.

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A journal

Sunday …. its a perfect day today. Drizzling outside and we on a trip to country… Amazing day actually. Its a family gathering there and a feast.

Excited to meet all after a long time. Its a 1 and a half hour journey but bit tiring and exhausting dor children,they are gwtting bored. My teenage niece is having hard rime travelling andmy little kidos are really making it hard for me to stay calm. My little girl is nonstop talking, singing and making mischief and my little young man is getting irritated with everything. My hubby’s cousin is driving very patiently ignoring all the disturbance. My father in law is speaking monosyllables when and where required. I am passing my time by writing this journal.

I am bit sad because my loving husband couldnot make it as he has a busy schedule for the whole week. I am gonna miss him a lot, infact I have already started missing him.

Tomorrow is again Monday and a full hectic one too as its exam time for my children. And I am not sure when will I return.

Apart from all this the scene out of the car window is very engaging. All lush greens with orange, pink, yellow flowers blooming. Grey sky above and colorful greens below, cool breeze blowing. Water filled bodies here and there in the fields. White birds taking a stroll in the fields, people enjoying rides on bikes. It seems as if they too want to be partakers in the merrymaking of the nature. There are families enjoying day on the roadside. Reaping in some of the fields is going on. There is nothing lese to be seen on either sides of the road except vast breen fields stretching from one corner of the sky to the other and far behi d those fields on either sides are hills outling them.

We are nearing our destination and I am thankful for such a beautiful break. Hope you too enjoyed the trip with me.

A lesser known heritage of city of Nawabs

I know I am a history buff and whenever I get to know something new of interesting I share it here, may be some of you wont like it or just ignore the post but its worth documenting, so I write it down her.

The place about which I am going to describe here is worth knowing and I myself was waiting to visit it but on the purpose of shooting it for my new you tube channel but when I got to know the history of this place I am dying to visit it solely for quenching my thirst for historical romances and my admiration of British era. I know some people might find it weird me being admirer of that shameful period but still I cannot help it. So not bothering everyone with my idea of romanticizing history, I will straight away tell you what I discovered.

For me love in true sense is very vast and the type of love I am referring to here is kind of Romeo Juliet, where Romeo is a General of British Army and Juliet is part of Royal family of Hyderabad (India), though its not new for this city to be associated with such kind of love, which is now a days found in books or should I say is historical. For the establishment of the very city is based on the love story between Qutubshahi Prince of Golkonda and the courtesan dancer Bhagmati, whom later prince married and renamed her Hyder Begum and on her name the city first was called Bhagnagar  then later Hyderabad. So, as we all know the British in India controlled the empire through East India Company. And whosoever was appointed as British Resident in any city of the country hold their office by the name of British Residency, where actually they had their residence, office and staff.  This is the true story of a love affair between a British Resident and Princess of the estate.

The story goes like this, The sixth British resident to Hyderabad court, Lt. Col. James Achilles Kirkpatrick who became more of Indian Mughal, influenced by the Nizams of Hyderabad and wore Mughal style clothes and English etiquettes turned to dance parties of Nizams. He fall in love with the grand niece of Diwan of Hyderabad, Khair-un-Nissa and wanted to marry her. Even in present day scenario of Indian society, love marriages are not taken easily so imagine the 2 century back Indian society, that too inter religious marriage! The Muslim officials said no for the marriage. To this James Agreed to change his religion and marry Khair-un-nissa according to muslim law. The permission was granted and he married her and got residency constructed.

The couple had two surviving children named Mir Gulam Ali Sahib Allum aka William and his sister Noor-un-Nissa Sahib Begum aka Kitty, who were sent to England in early age and never saw their parents back again as soon after their departure both parents died.

James Kirkpatrick¬†was sort of double agent to the Nizams, who didn’t want to surrender their estate to British. Knowing this the East India Company called him to Calcutta and removed him from the Resident’s position. He fell ill and in a year he died in Calcutta. The Begum was widowed at a very young age. later she also succumbed to her broken heart. But still the token of their love The British Residency, reminds of Col.’s true love.

The residency is one of the finest piece of architecture of British East India Company. It is built in the form of Palladian style in north front just like its counter part in US , The White House the only difference being, its color is bright cream. The Corinthian Pillars are 40 feet high, two majestic lions welcome at the main entrance.¬†The south front¬†is made in Indian style. The main building has nearly 200 or so rooms out of which 52 were¬†Resident’s and guests bedroom, 78 bathrooms and¬†rest staff office. The compound has one Zenana(ladies) building where¬†Khair-un-Nissa resided as she entertained veil system. In the compound area there were other¬†quarters also. The main attraction of the compound area was the miniature of the residency itself, built mainly for the Begum, so that she can see the whole building including front, without coming out of her veil.

The miniature was in a very bad condition but recently it has been restored to maximum beauty. The building was converted to girl’s college in 1949. Now the court order has changed the status and ordered the Archeological department to take care of it. And soon it might be turned to museum or may be completely opened to the public.

The internal grandeur can only be explained through the pics, because no words can justify the architectural beauty it possesses. Recently during the restoration work it has come out that there is more to that which is visible. As the original shape of square rooms was turned to oval, the north facing openings were closed and turned to south, etc. The reason being the shift of British office from Hyderabad to North. And the Residency was used by the Nizams its seems.

What attracts me towards it more than its architecture is the depth of the love he felt for his begum, that he gave away his belief system, faith and everything he valued and turned to her religion not bothering about the consequences which cost him his life at the end. And she on her part left this world full of life and comfort for her beloved and bid good bye to the world at a young age. That is love.

This historical love story and the center of attraction Col. James Achilles Kirkpatrick is immortalized by William Dalrymple in his book White Moghuls: love’s betrayal in eighteenth centaury India which has been filmed in the same location. After the court’s order to renovate the building, the college has asked the old alumnus to send the pics of past if they have so that it can be restored to its original glory. After hearing this many have sent old pics. Even someone anonymous has sent $ 1 million as donation for the restoration. Its believed that may be some fan of the college has done this but I fancy to believe that may be some descendant of children of Col and Khair-un-Nissa who don’t want to be recognized might have sent.

The life in that mansion in that era might have been something worth living for. As I already told British era does attracts me. I can feel the time and whatever happened there as if I am present in that particular time. I have lived in such british mansion once in my childhood and believe me it gave me shivers every time I imagined who all would have lived in there and how they would have acted. Its a nostalgia for me just to think of that time period. I wont bore you with all my story but would try to go to this place and get the pics of present time after the restoration. Hope you like this and and the pics too.

Returning to the long forgotten skill…

I’ve been busy with regaining control on graphics these days. I love doing it so much that I am pending my all other works. Its like giving paints and colors, papers, pencils to a child and he will forget the world.

Everyday i think I will write today and every single day I postpone it fir another day. I know am giving excuse and being lazy but believe me the joy of it is nonetheless then what I get in writing.

As I can lose myself in writing equally i can drown in graphic designing too. In either case I dont want to be found. But just keep on reach deeper and deeper and find my self, in there.

As reading and writing is addiction to me, graphic designing is intoxicating too. Loving my this side again….

Boquet

It’s not the boquet of roses that I hold near to my heart,

But its full of flowers that bloom in life, called experience.

I have bright sunflowers of smiles, red roses of loving moments,

daffodils of achievements, water lilies of my trials, golden tulips of my love,

Failures are depicted by decaying greens which I carefully detach

Making way for new and soft leaves to be replaced.

I lay it in fresh sunlight of life to keep it alive and fresh,

I sprinkle water of new ideas and approach to keep it vivid and lively.

Flowers gathered everyday….

Sleep Paralysis and Hallucinations : Back 2 Back appearence.

I had two back to back episodes of sleep paralysis and hallucinations.

It was starange that in the wee hours of morning it occured and when i was not even sleeping. I woke up at 5.15 am and drank water and returned to bed and before closing my eyes i watched time in my phone…it read 5.20 am and just closed my eyes and felt the feeling comming over so sttetched my hand towards my son and hold him and still i felt that someone is pressuring me from side and i couldn’t move but I tried to move my toes and fingers and curled up my noes, then suddenly could open my eyes but still was not able to move so staryed blinking my eyes fast and aftet gew seconds I was awake. I sat up on the bed, took a couple of deep breaths and then slept sideways, though first also i was lying sideways but not completely so this time completely turned sideways and closed my eyes. I could hear a laughing sound immidiately and some presure on my back as if some one was intentionally doing it. Whispering, first time you were saved but now caught ya! And then I could feel something touching my right palm behind my back so tried to grab it but nothing happened only the laughter increased and suddenly I remembered my daughter was there so it might be her leg i was feeling than i tried to turn aside but xouldnt so startef to laugh my self but only a little squeak came out or a whisper to match that laugh then suddenly flattering my palms and toes I came back to my senses. The time was 5.35 am. Since then I didnt sleep.

The other reason for calling it strange is, though I am considering it since long back but couldnot bring myself to mention about it, that iys said when you sleep on your back it occurs but I never sleep that way, o ly tirned to my left is my sleeping position, still I get these episodes since my childhood. Thirdly, sometimes due to work I donot sleep whole night and when I try to take rest at any given time, just like today, it occurs. My question is that when I am not sleeping how can it happen, on just closing your eyes?! Is it possible? It is too horrible. That too twice back to back. Though now I am not that afraid as firstly I know what it is and secondly most of the time I am in full sense of my surroundings.

I don’t know what to say? Still sharing my experience wirh you all. If you know something please do tell.

Inspiring Thought 2

How to face your failures and break the fears.

When you are on the verge of giving up or hide behind your fear of failure, just remember why you started. For this you have to have a clear aim and a dream to die for. This will make you fight for success, no matter if initially you fail. You need to learn from your experiences. So that you don’t make same mistake again and again. Every new trial will take you one step ahead.

Dont be overconfident thinking that you cannot fail that when it happens you are lost! But same time you should neither be low esteemed and be afraid of failing but just be sure to give your 200% to whatever you do, with open heart. So that in any case you are benefitted. Only open attitude towards achieving your goals and dreams can take you forward and not the fear of failure.¬†That’s the reason you should be not afraid of failure but of the fear of failure. What I think is that by R&D method you develop originality.

Fears keep you away from your heartiest desires and that can be the reason enough to not to fear failure. Don’t abandon your trials, be sincere and be happy. To conquer your fears you must get working instead of sitting and thinking about it. One more way to face failure is to take it as a step towards change because if you don’t learn you keep committing the same mistake. In fact failure should be used as a stepping stone towards success. Start thinking it as a way not a hinderance.

Always remember that fears are drawbacks and they limit our happiness. Learn to enjoy the process and let them be your inspiration.Be courageous enough not to stop.Be determined to succeed and don’t give up, no matter how long it takes, keep thriving, Failures bring you on the right path otherwise how would you know which direction to go?

Face your failures with dignity and courage.