You are my Soulmate….
How do I know? … well, I just know because I feel it that way. A deep-down knowledge of some unknown past. From the source which is not related to my present but still there is some connection between you and me, which goes back to the ages we have lived together before this life. There is some resentment left and the anger you feel and direct towards me, which we try a lot to solve and we do solve most of the time…but then again, the issue arises as if its not there to settle, how can it? Because it is from the unknown source and might seem irrelevant to this life. Again, me trying to please you every time as if sitting on edge. Why all this, you know? Just because from last time, which we both don’t remember, but I understand, I want to love you even more and more.
Unlike others, I never felt shaking of hands or legs, my heart never went pounding or up an down neither knees went weak but I felt some sort of calmness and as if in a unending search I came to a halt, was at peace. It was never like I found someone new or unknown to me but someone who I already knew and who was unknowingly waiting for me. I found the endless source of inspiration to dip in my unexplained experiences, some sorted relaxations and peaceful at heart. On finding you I felt like my soul recognized you and was overjoyed at our reunion. The reunion of our souls. As if exclaiming in unbelief that here you are, I was looking for you in the whole universe like a mad. And then my soul said to yours You’re the one I was looking for all through the time and waiting so now when I have found you, I give you myself and the heart, which belongs to you from eternity till eternity.
I know I am not perfect neither are you, but I believe that we are perfect for each other, no matter what the differences come they are resentments from past life and I hereby pledge that I won’t keep any on or against you this time so that we can be at more peace, if we meet. I am your once and only retreat for love, I am here to churn things up in your life through anyway possible. Not always sugar and sweet smell but normally roses come with thorns, so am I standing in your way up to you in every possible way only I can but no one else will or can. If I talk on your part, you never have let me sit calmly, you always made me question my existence, my likings, wishes and choices. Above all you made me rethink over my decisions, changing my reality and making a phase in my life which was before you entered my life and now when you are there.
You are the one irreplaceable, not even in my dreams. No one can and will ever take your place in my life, ever, if you are to leave me someday. You are not my choice but my destiny. That’s the reason I say you are not merely a love of life but the soulmate I spent my lifetimes with. Victoria Ericson once said ‘Soulmates aren’t the ones who make you the happiest, no. They are instead the ones who make you feel the most, burning edges, scars and the stars. Old pains and pangs, captivation and beauty, strain and shadows and worry and yearning. Sweetness and madness and dreamlike surrender. They hurl you into the abyss. They taste like hope.’
You know what? Why are you not able to leave me? Or me leave you? Its not just the love we have for each other but the connection we share at soul level, ours is oldest relationship. There are times when I can read you but just stay quiet or show that I didn’t understand because you need your own time to understand things and analyze the situation. We are mentally and spiritually connected. I knew instantly that you are the one who deserves my heart. For you I went through all the pain since my childhood to my heartbreak at present, only just to experience the real sweetness of your love and understand the essence of it, after all the bitterness.
You complete me, the time is never sufficient for us, it seems its flying away and I crave for more and its endless craving. You have always tried to channelize my energy to something higher, to the universe. Its because of you I came to trust Sai Baba. You are the one who broke me and then put me together, at least is trying to bring light back in my dark life. When I was about to breakdown and vanish into the thin air, time and again you appeared to support me, to lift me. You mend my heart by giving me yours and then broke me again by taking it back and then tried to put me together by trying to place the replica of your heart. There were times when were hiding from each other but one sudden day we appeared to face each other because souls have same place to hide. Since then we are clinging to each other. You do try to stretch the bond between us to extreme but then come back, I on my part try to hide but return to you, reason being same that we are two halves of same soul. Coco J. Ginger says ‘Soulmates are muses. The people in your life, you despise, disrespect and desire the most.’
This is what goes so true in our case. You despise me, disrespect me and on the same hand desire me the most. I am your muse, to whom you return every time, no matter how far you may go. I am your resting point, reassurance for your soul. You are the soul I can connect to, on every level. I never found you, but it’s for my soul that recognized you, the moment I saw you. The soul was working upon its miracle in union with universe to bring us back together and my heart was beating to the rhythms of old known beats from the time not related to the present. The moment I saw you for the first time I did not fall in love but sensed a familiarity and then slowly sunk in the feeling of easiness and comfort your companionship brought. I am not talking in the terms of soulmate as a word or a phrase but a rarest connection I really experience with you. And thus, I know our connection is real. Even though your attraction seems to end but your love continues. The attraction is just a beginning, but love is endless connection of the souls for the eternity. And the vibes of love we have for each other cannot be replaced by any other love story you might hog upon. The one we share is from times unknown but new ones just come and join in between like distractions and stay as guilt upon the soul. But I hereby free you from the feeling of that guilt by accepting what it is, as your happiness. Next when we come to this earth, you can be free of this guilt and lead a happy fulfilling life without any problems and weightage on your soul. Because that poor thing is not to be blamed. I may try to run away from you as far as I can, to avoid you but I know we will always end up together because we are old soul mates. The same applies to your likings too, even you cannot stay away from me for long. You have to return to me because we are destined to.
I LOVE YOU MY SOULMATE.