A goodnews for me and for all of you who wished and blessed me. Last two days were very bad and shrouded with gloomyness for me.
But not taking you all through that glommy ride, I will cut short and come to the point. If you remember in my post ‘Desires not wishes’ I talked about my one desire to start my own you tube chennel, so 90% of it is materialsed and if everything goes fine in May, I will start shooting for it.
The shortcomings I was facing or am facing will be taken care of shortly, with the help of a friend and my hubby’s support. So now I can start shooting initial videos and after editing and all, I may post in July.
This day I am full happy and my excitement is overflowing. I am feeling free from some sort of cage. Even my ‘urban photography’ has got approval and I got some gutts to ask for camera and lengthy talk about my passion for photography and shoots to my husband.
One more good news I want to share is that, my photographs are getting good response and I am now trying my hands on streetphotography and urban, too
Getting good response on these is taking me to 7thheaben. TodayI am on cloud 9. Though the sadness is there, it wont go but atleastI can face it with some light. I can keep the dark thoughts at some distance.
Need your all, blessings and good wishes.
Some times it felt that he understands what I go through, he feels sorry for what he did to me. But now my all misunderstandings are cleared.
Whatever I use tontell him, he only heard it but never understood, not a single word of it. My all tears were in vain. Now I am again standing on the point from where I started my journey few years back…all alone and lonely. No one to support, not a single soul to console me.
Suddenly everything has lost its meaning and every moment has become empty. New emptyness, meaninglessness, painful feelings have entered my soul, afresh.
I am like on staring into the blank with a confused look in eyes and on face, still not getting why am here and above all why in the first place did I entered this relation, jsut to face this situation? No, I mean sometimes I find myself wondering is this my ppave, 7s this my home, or am I at someone’s place and using their rights as my own. Have I made a mistake and taken someome else’s place, so the condition? Whatever it is, I dont feel it right. I am desprate to just leave everything and go hiding in some unknown place.
Just done with my quota of pain. I cannot bear anymore. I am totally broken, just one more blow, a single one even a slightest blow and I am gone. Gone for good and ever. So fragile I have become.
Hope there is something which holds me up tightly for few more days, just in case someday everything might turn into right direction. Or may be I become more tough to resist the blows.
If nothing comes in my support, I wish, wellwishes of people who feel deep and understand the pain, are with me. Thanks all of you for lending an ear, understanding and extanding support. My hearty wishes and prayers reach out to you all.