Chai Kahani…once again.

Hmmm…its so dreamy out here today. Raining! My love at by my side…oh what else can I ask for? But wait …my good luck had something more in store for me. He asked me to kidnap him! Take him someqhere we both can be togather in each other’s company and not disturbed by any one at all.

I was on the cloud nine. He was even ready to go missing with me for a longer period than I expected but somehow it could not be done. I regret it but then happy that atleast we were togather in our company for a considerable period of time. And ofcourse we have all of the time in the world to plan that missing again on some beautiful day.

Well when I did, so called kidnap him, we went to our favrioute spot…Chai Kahani. It was drizzling by the time we reached there. As he parked the car, I had to jump over a mud pool formed due to good rain, few minutes ago. But it was worth visiting in that weather. So romantic and cozy I was feeling in his company. Then suddenly I noticed that there was a beautiful development in the place.

It was like a secret garden from snow white story. May be I am exhergrating but to me it was so. I hope one day I will get to sit in that garden and sip my cuppa. Its just that I want to enter that garden through that door and not from inside the cafe.

We entered the cafe and were surprised to see a little change in the interior from the last visit a few months ago. But it was minimal as usual and rustic too. The cozy feeling it gives, is uncompareable to any other place.

After settling down he signalled for the waiter and we were provided menu, which I noticed, was different and changed. But hold its favourite delecacies in place. New beverages are added to it every now and then. On the outer signboard, was mentioned this season’s new entry…’mitti chai’ each drop smells of rain! Though I am not a tea drinker, I love coffee instead, I wanted to try this newbie, so ordered and my sweet heart who was equally excited to see new entries and shocked to see me ordering cup of tea (actually it was a mud glass) asked for tulsi tea (basil tea) which we took for some sort of green tea, which actually it was not. He also is not a tea lover but likes green tea of any sort, so 5he tea came as a surprise. After ordering we had to wait for say about 15 minutes or so. But this wait didn’t felt bad, as in each other’s c8mpany we didnt notice the time. Had lot of things to catch upon. I had to discuss about my new project and he had some developments to tell about his directorial debut. While talking we kept noticing our surrounding. There was an arrangement for 8 members party to sit just opposite to us and 4 of them came few minutes after us and I noticed they were not more than 20 or so years. Slowly the group’s other members joined and I said to my love that they might be from some near by college, who are bunking the classes to celebrate something. On the table behind us first there were sitting one uncle and aunt, who just finished their tea and left, then came two girls of same age group as the first group but not from the same institute and asked for the table for 6 and were shown the table which was just vacated by middle aged couple. Behind me were sitting, a father and a 10 or so years’ son having pasta. All this going on but no noise at all, everyone was comfertable in their zone, chatting, laughing and calling.

Here arrived piping hot basil tea, in a glass. He sipped and siad that I must try it. Bit hesitatingly I sipped from his glass and was took aback as 5he taste was very strong. The smell was pure basil and I had to say no I am not going to try tea anymore, and was confused how this mitti ki chai will taste. Then came my tea…the person had got whole lot of things in his hand and I was like, what is he going to make tea right here on the table or what? Why has he come with his whole kitchenware? But the what he did was amazing. I was like…Woooow…oh nice. I took out my mobile and started to photograph him and asked my partner to film it for me, because I knew there and then that I have to write about it.

This is what the mitti ki chai was! And my first time tea! And believe me it was awsome. I fell in love with the taste and the texture and everyhing else. I told my love that I think I have become a fan of this and soon we will come back to this place for this tea. He laughed and laughed at my childish excitement but agreed readily.

We took our time to savour the taste of our teas and then after paying the bill he took hold of my hand and helped me out of the seat and then holding hands we came out of the cafe. While we were comming out a family of 6 came and they opted to sit in the garden, I wish one day I too sit there.

While on our way back he said that if you search whole heartedly you can find god! My reaction was nah! There’s no such thing as I don’t believe in this all then he said that I did find him….I had to laugh aloud to this remark and returned the favour by saying that he is not god but my soul himself, and for me soul is greater than God.( my belief, not to hurt any one)now it was his turn to laugh.Thus a loving tea date with my soulmate on a romantic day came to an end.

Soulmate Series – 1

I was born with a pink mark on my left ring finger. Which denoted my soulmate was there somewhere in this world waiting to be reunited.

I didnot get the oppertunity to meet that soneone special. Ages have passed it seems and we both are bussy in our own worlds forgetting everything and losing hope to meet.

One evening I found out that my pink mark has changed to marroonish and suddenly I had the sinking feeling. I felt its a dreading feeling which is not new to me and with that I lost all my hopes to even see my soulmate. At this time of age when sun of youth and younger days is setting the last hope also started to vanish. Its not the first time but every birth we face the same destiny.

One gloomy morning my pink turned marroon mark turned black denoting the departure of my soulmate from this earthy plane. I don’t know whose mistake it was that still we are apart. Now again I have to wait but how many births, don’t know.

An empty feeling of nothingness fills in and I go on with my life waiting for my time to come to start a new journey in search for my long lost soulmate.

Small Cafeteria

She, sitting in a cozy chair by the window, watching out side the raindrops falling from the tree branch over the little coffee shoppe. Inside it was dimly lighted with warm color spreading on the walls and corners all dark. Small yellow bulbs of less watt were lighted over each sitting arrangement. Though it was day time, yet it looked late in the evening due to the weather oitside.

“Your hot Mocca with Choclate”. As she turned towards the sound, the waiter was moving away from the table. “Excuse me! Can I have a cheese sandwich? With extra cheese and a pinch of black pepper?” The waiter nodded with a smile.” Thank you.” Was her short and curt reply.

She was enjying her coffee when her attention wandered to a car which was parked just opposite to the caffe. As she was wondering what he might be doing here at this time, a tear rolled down her cheek and before she could wipe it off with her cold fingers on a pale palm, a scented white handkerchief swiped it off and a warm deep voice said ” If you don’t mind, I would like to treasure it. And hope am not the reason behind it?” She startlingly looked towards him. Now he was sitting opposite to her and signalling the waiter for coffee.

Waiter kept the piping hot brew and moved away. Slowly he covered her palm placed on table beside her coffee mug, with his own. ” Why don’t you just leave me alone?”She whispered. ” I just can’t. Without you there is no meaning to my life and you know that very well, don’t you?” “Now don’t say you don’t believe me.” Without giving her a chance to speak he completed his sentence. “No actually I was thinking instead of lingering on to you if I gather courage to move out of your life, it would be better for all of us.” She looked away from his face to hide tears welling up in her eyes again. Now he pulled her hand little towards him and holded it between his hands. And in a very soft requesting voice said ” Please never ever think of leaving me. I know what I did to you is unforgivable but I love you the most. You are my better half, mother to my children and the amazing lady after my mother.” “But day by day the fact that you not only cheated me, but also married that girl secretly and above all that you live her… Love her! That is the most painful part. I am not able to understand how? How did it all happen?” Silience prevailed, she expected the same old explanation from him ir few words here and there, new but not this silience.

” When you say I cannot leave her or when you put conditions for me on fulfilling which you might stop talking to her or seeing her, kills me daily. Knowing that my husband is not only mine, I have a sharing partner kills me.” Crying bitterly she spoke all at once, in a very low voice trying to control herself. He clasped her hand more tightly and bend over a little more in an attempt to rest his head on her already bend head. But he could not say anything, he knew there was no answer to her questions. But he could not ket her go….from his life for ever. How could he? She was his true love. What if he was not her’s but she was someone he couldnot find in whole lifetime. She happened to him and anotherone, he brought her in. Compared to this sober and forgiving lady, that younger beautiful business partner,whom he had married was nothing. This lady sitting in front of him with all her glory and abundant love in her heart for him, never doubted him once, had blindly trusted and another one never trusted him even with her open eyes though she sweared her love for him. “What the hell have I done? To you…to us?!” With throat full of tears he whispered. “I cannot live without you cannot leave her either. Won’t ever be happy if I let you go.” Was all he managed to say before a big silience again leapt.

“I cannot make my castle of love and happiness on someone’s tears and cursings. Its better that I leave you people and stay away…so that you can overcome your sense of guilt and be happy. My heart will always love you and only you. Because I believe you’re my soulmate, my twin and my only lovein every life, if there is such thing, but this time we are mistakenly born togather in wrong lifetime. This is the only explaination I can give to console myself and my aching heart. I know it may sound foolish but I need something to lean on.” She spoke soberly after composing herself.

“Dont say that please….how many times do I have to prove that you are my first priority, that I love you….the most.” First he pleaded then got bit irritated.

“Sob”…..”let me have the kids. They are my only reason to live and above all memoir of you…” He shut her mouth with his warm passionate kiss that was brief one. Tears rolled down her cheeks and this time none tried to wipe them. The rain outside had stopped and their coffees were cold and the cheese sandwich was half eaten and forgotten too, with the coffee.

She looked arround if anybody was looking at them but no one was free to eardrop plus the next table was at a distance which gave privacy to people sitting there and talking in normal pitch. He signalled for the bill.

Why I know you are my soul mate.

You are my Soulmate….

How do I know? … well, I just know because I feel it that way. A deep-down knowledge of some unknown past. From the source which is not related to my present but still there is some connection between you and me, which goes back to the ages we have lived together before this life. There is some resentment left and the anger you feel and direct towards me, which we try a lot to solve and we do solve most of the time…but then again, the issue arises as if its not there to settle, how can it? Because it is from the unknown source and might seem irrelevant to this life. Again, me trying to please you every time as if sitting on edge. Why all this, you know? Just because from last time, which we both don’t remember, but I understand, I want to love you even more and more.

Unlike others, I never felt shaking of hands or legs, my heart never went pounding or up an down neither knees went weak but I felt some sort of calmness and as if in a unending search I came to a halt, was at peace. It was never like I found someone new or unknown to me but someone who I already knew and who was unknowingly waiting for me. I found the endless source of inspiration to dip in my unexplained experiences, some sorted relaxations and peaceful at heart. On finding you I felt like my soul recognized you and was overjoyed at our reunion. The reunion of our souls. As if exclaiming in unbelief that here you are, I was looking for you in the whole universe like a mad. And then my soul said to yours You’re the one I was looking for all through the time and waiting so now when I have found you, I give you myself and the heart, which belongs to you from eternity till eternity.

I know I am not perfect neither are you, but I believe that we are perfect for each other, no matter what the differences come they are resentments from past life and I hereby pledge that I won’t keep any on or against you this time so that we can be at more peace, if we meet. I am your once and only retreat for love, I am here to churn things up in your life through anyway possible. Not always sugar and sweet smell but normally roses come with thorns, so am I standing in your way up to you in every possible way only I can but no one else will or can. If I talk on your part, you never have let me sit calmly, you always made me question my existence, my likings, wishes and choices. Above all you made me rethink over my decisions, changing my reality and making a phase in my life which was before you entered my life and now when you are there.

You are the one irreplaceable, not even in my dreams. No one can and will ever take your place in my life, ever, if you are to leave me someday. You are not my choice but my destiny. That’s the reason I say you are not merely a love of life but the soulmate I spent my lifetimes with. Victoria Ericson once said ‘Soulmates aren’t the ones who make you the happiest, no. They are instead the ones who make you feel the most, burning edges, scars and the stars. Old pains and pangs, captivation and beauty, strain and shadows and worry and yearning. Sweetness and madness and dreamlike surrender. They hurl you into the abyss. They taste like hope.

You know what? Why are you not able to leave me? Or me leave you? Its not just the love we have for each other but the connection we share at soul level, ours is oldest relationship. There are times when I can read you but just stay quiet or show that I didn’t understand because you need your own time to understand things and analyze the situation. We are mentally and spiritually connected. I knew instantly that you are the one who deserves my heart. For you I went through all the pain since my childhood to my heartbreak at present, only just to experience the real sweetness of your love and understand the essence of it, after all the bitterness.

You complete me, the time is never sufficient for us, it seems its flying away and I crave for more and its endless craving. You have always tried to channelize my energy to something higher, to the universe. Its because of you I came to trust Sai Baba. You are the one who broke me and then put me together, at least is trying to bring light back in my dark life. When I was about to breakdown and vanish into the thin air, time and again you appeared to support me, to lift me. You mend my heart by giving me yours and then broke me again by taking it back and then tried to put me together by trying to place the replica of your heart. There were times when were hiding from each other but one sudden day we appeared to face each other because souls have same place to hide. Since then we are clinging to each other. You do try to stretch the bond between us to extreme but then come back, I on my part try to hide but return to you, reason being same that we are two halves of same soul. Coco J. Ginger says ‘Soulmates are muses. The people in your life, you despise, disrespect and desire the most.’

This is what goes so true in our case. You despise me, disrespect me and on the same hand desire me the most. I am your muse, to whom you return every time, no matter how far you may go. I am your resting point, reassurance for your soul. You are the soul I can connect to, on every level. I never found you, but it’s for my soul that recognized you, the moment I saw you. The soul was working upon its miracle in union with universe to bring us back together and my heart was beating to the rhythms of old known beats from the time not related to the present. The moment I saw you for the first time I did not fall in love but sensed a familiarity and then slowly sunk in the feeling of easiness and comfort your companionship brought. I am not talking in the terms of soulmate as a word or a phrase but a rarest connection I really experience with you. And thus, I know our connection is real. Even though your attraction seems to end but your love continues. The attraction is just a beginning, but love is endless connection of the souls for the eternity. And the vibes of love we have for each other cannot be replaced by any other love story you might hog upon. The one we share is from times unknown but new ones just come and join in between like distractions and stay as guilt upon the soul. But I hereby free you from the feeling of that guilt by accepting what it is, as your happiness. Next when we come to this earth, you can be free of this guilt and lead a happy fulfilling life without any problems and weightage on your soul. Because that poor thing is not to be blamed. I may try to run away from you as far as I can, to avoid you but I know we will always end up together because we are old soul mates. The same applies to your likings too, even you cannot stay away from me for long. You have to return to me because we are destined to.