Random Thoughts

I have stopped touching my evergreen wound in order to let it heal. It’s okay untill I don’t wander in its direction and every thing goes back to ground zero. How hartd I may try, it attacks, or shall I say my minddoes not want me to heal. It has become unhealing sore.

Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace…..I have recently learnt and believe it thoroughly. When negative thoughts arise or feelings tend to sadden me, I just simply ignore them. The thoughts which create havoc in my heart and mind, I shift my focusfrom them to the more happy thougths. Sometimes just out of the mere need to speak something to avoid the regretfull events that may follow, I speak totally different from what is going on in my mind, shocking myself and mind both. But believe me, it does pay.

Why I Write.

Somewhere on the net I read ” when you can tell your story and it doesn’t make you cry, you know you have healed” I am waiting for that moment to happen to me, when i can turn back and atleast smile without a tinge of pain, over what I want to tell in the book I am writing, which I actually avoid writing.
I know its not only about me but everyone arround me. Still its a sad and bitter experience for me and I know where I have been due to this and how I have come back, not yet to the mark I was supposed to be but still kicking back at life and trying to heal, from the place where once was and never wanted to come back. I never wanted to see what life could hold for me or what sun’s first ray of light hold for me. But then I gathered all my willingness to love back and see the smiles on my children’s face I tried to fake what I wanted and here I am today, trying to take over my life and have my own way, not giving in, to my demons.
I never looked for any one to help me climb up but I supported my self to climb the ladder towards light. There was or is no one to understand me but me, so i just hold my hand and walk step by step in the darkest of hours just hoping to reach the point from where I can start my journey towards light. There were many critical points in past couple of years when everything was blurred and muddled and I wanted to give up but some how could not do so. Because everytime it happened a voice in me told to hold on little bit tighter and hangon, because I never was a coward but a fighter, a lone one, I always hadbeen my own strength so how come I can give up so easily or without trying a one more time and thus whenever I felt low the innervoice told me same thing over and over again. Even now it continues to knock some sense in my dumb head. If it was not for my gutt feeling I would never have survived so long. Not this heart break atleast. In other words I have been a good cheerleader for myself in hard times and still am and will continue to be.
Earlier I thought being a writer is very cool and to write about your pain, is cooler then anything else but now I knnow for being a cool writer how hard you have to work and how much pain you have to go through. Living the long burried painful moments again and again is very tiring and horrible. Then I came to know being a writer is very responsible thing because you are influencing lives of many through your pains, gains and losses for which you have to relive them. Because you know yourself better and all your experiences come in handy while writing. Thus, I understand that writing is really a healer for not readers alone but for the writers too. A best way to come out of your inhibitions and encounter your fears, pains, losses and other darker side of you. Writing about them not only heals you but inspires others also giving them the hope and a way to try out. It`s like saving your own life.
Sometimes I hide from myself when I don`t want to write or stop writing. It happens often, because I cann`t take the burden of my demons. I just start running, forgetting that its the only way out. The more I will acknowladge it the lesser the impact will be upon me. But sometimes I feel exhausted and left with no energy to carry on. But I know I have to face it some or the other day so why not now, this brings me back to my paper and pen. Because I want everyone to know that failures and defeats are a small part of our life but the life as a whole is very vast and promising if we give it a chance and a second chance in case of some people. periodical drawbacks cann`t be given chance to loom over a big chunk of life demolishing it to nothingness and robbing us of our right to be happy ever after.
So I write just to say if I can try so others can too.

Coffee

Oh I know its not a new topic here on my blog as I already did 2 before this one. Or may be 3. But as the matter of fact , I am obsessed with the word coffee and the liquid itself, I can’t stop writing about it or getting inspired by it. It basically gives me a high feel. I mean when I am with my best pal, my coffee mug…I feel on top of the world. It makes me feel so content and satisfied that there is nothing in the world that can make me so fulfilled. Apart from my family ofcourse, but then living beings have a tendency to turn you down sometimes or the other no matter how close they are, but this darling of mine is just the same everytime i meet her. It wont complain of meeting after a long time or not meeting at all….or such things but will make me feel possitive everytime I am in the company. It always fills me with positive thoughts and make feel light hearted.

Today 8 habe two things to share with you, one, that my hubby got me two varieties of coffee from the coffee plantation estate he went to, for his work and bought me a coffee plunget, I was dreaming to get from quite a some time now. And the overwhelming reaction of mine hasn’t stopped till now, though coupl of days have passed snce I first hold in my hands. The mere thought of it makes me bubble with joy and the smioe starts to curve my lips. The amazing thing is that with these two new addition in coffee stack I have 5 varieties at my disposal to cater my mood. I am so happy with this knowladge that its just making me write about coffee on the verge of making others fright(because I dont think anyone might be writing that much on a go or so many posts on s8ngoe subject with same old feeling, of happiness ofcourse.😆). I made coffee the whole day tomorrow for everyone and even was looking forward to guests who might turn up or should I invite them, was my quetion to my Mom in Law, over a coffee party…to which she was frightened and tried to pulled a hold on my edginess, lovingly petting on my shoulder and making fun of me. She too enjoyed the varieties of coffee I made.

The second thing which I want to share is an inspiration from Youtube video which showed an old British lady may be 80 years or so, doing salsa with a jaw dropping performance. All the judges were so dumbstruck by her performance that they couldn’t utter a word while she was in action. And when at last she told her story that how she had to give up her passion which she nurtured since she was a tod, after marriage and sattle in another country and her beloved husband passed away in just 18 months of them moving there and how she had look after her 4 children and take care of everything that when after years her children grew up she asked them if she can persue her career in dance and they all, as they are adorable children f adorable parents, encouraged their mother who once uad giben up all her dreams to upbring them. Now it was her time and there she stood in front of the judges and the audience of Britain Got Talent stage with the golden buzzer press3d for jer without a second thougt or even and further comments. This lady there has become my inspiration. I love her and adore her for being so courageous and not letting her dreams and hopes go away even after such a long time. I will stick to my dream and my hopes go. I will certainly do that onething I dreamt of, at any age…now onwards I wont think or feel disheartened by the fact that my age may not let me do or won’t suit to me after I am older…necause dreams dont have age limit they live long enough to be fulfilled. Its us who give up hope putting forth many excuses to hide our holessness. So from now on I am going to cling harder to my dream and will keep nudgging myself whenever I start loosing hope.

Hat’s off to you grand maa and my dearest coffee to keep smiling and believing that there is always a sunshine no matter how dark is the night.

Inspiring Thought 2

How to face your failures and break the fears.

When you are on the verge of giving up or hide behind your fear of failure, just remember why you started. For this you have to have a clear aim and a dream to die for. This will make you fight for success, no matter if initially you fail. You need to learn from your experiences. So that you don’t make same mistake again and again. Every new trial will take you one step ahead.

Dont be overconfident thinking that you cannot fail that when it happens you are lost! But same time you should neither be low esteemed and be afraid of failing but just be sure to give your 200% to whatever you do, with open heart. So that in any case you are benefitted. Only open attitude towards achieving your goals and dreams can take you forward and not the fear of failure. That’s the reason you should be not afraid of failure but of the fear of failure. What I think is that by R&D method you develop originality.

Fears keep you away from your heartiest desires and that can be the reason enough to not to fear failure. Don’t abandon your trials, be sincere and be happy. To conquer your fears you must get working instead of sitting and thinking about it. One more way to face failure is to take it as a step towards change because if you don’t learn you keep committing the same mistake. In fact failure should be used as a stepping stone towards success. Start thinking it as a way not a hinderance.

Always remember that fears are drawbacks and they limit our happiness. Learn to enjoy the process and let them be your inspiration.Be courageous enough not to stop.Be determined to succeed and don’t give up, no matter how long it takes, keep thriving, Failures bring you on the right path otherwise how would you know which direction to go?

Face your failures with dignity and courage.

 

The mystery blogger award

I am so thrilled at the moment as I am nominated for such a lovely award. I am so thankful to Beckie of BeckiesMentalMess.wordpress.com for nominating me. This was a lovely surprise from you first thing in the morning, dear. You made my day. Thanks once again.

So what’s the mystery behind this award? Here, I’ll tell you what? “Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers ho find fun and inspiration in blogging and they do it with so much love and passion.

~ Okoto Enigma ~

So this is it.

Now comes the rules part, they are

Thank whoever nominated you and include the link to their blog.
Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
Answer the questions from the person who nominated you.
Nominate 10-20 bloggers you feel deserve the award.
Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice with one weird or funny one.
Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.

Three things about me….

I am a sucker for horror genre in any field.

I love dogs.

I love spending summers with my brother and his family.

Answers to Beckie’s questions.

What is your favorite season of the year, and why?

My favourite season is winter. Because I just love everyrhing about it. All the merry making, the food and all.

Do you have any hobbies, and if you so what are they and when did you start doing them?

I have 3 hobbies and they are Reading, travelling and listening to songs with beautiful lyrics. And I am into them since I was young child.

If you had superpowers, what would they be?

I just want one superpower if iys possible, to control time and if not time travelling at least.

Do you believe in prayer and hope?

Hmmmm…nope. Prayers never answered and hope I lost couple of years back.

If you were on your deathbed, would you share your deepest darkest secret with someone, or go to the grave with it?

Would love to go to grave with it. Atleast I need sometime pass there.

AND MY NOMINEES ARE

Longdistancerunner

Denise Laura Baker

Pradita Chronicles

Rethinking life

Victor Eshameh

Cee

Kvivekhyd

Amoma’sview

SM, Beautiful thoughts

Restless Roots

My Questions To them Are :

1 What’s your dream that keeps you awake?

2 Who is your friend in need?

3 Which Is the movie you saw last?

4 If you could, to which planet you’d go for vacations?

5 Your worst nightmare?

 

Inspiring thought

Failure is an important step of development. Don’t be afraid of failure.

Be honest to yourself and never let anyone influence or distract you from your goal. Backbiting is the nature of people but don’t waste your energy on them. You know your worth and capability. You know who you are.

You should give yourself a priority only then others will give you importance. Work hard to achieve your goals and when you realize them and are shining with pride, do not close the doors to success instead share you path with others so that they can also feel the same way, Share your success and the path you took with everyone. When others succeed and look happy you will feel satisfied and content, which is a bonus and the real meaning of being successful.

Keep learning> Something new is always an addition to what we have. Open mind is a good receptor for new and useful ideas, so keep your mind open always, observe everything deeply, have a curious eye, zeal to learn something new. Take some risks and don’t make lame excuses.

There should be continuity in your work. It is said even the water becomes stagnant when its still, air in a closed place become stagnant and instead of giving life it becomes poisonous and suffocating. So to improve the quality of our work and to grow, continuity should be maintained. Freshness of the new ideas and hard work with determination will take you very far.