Negative Vibes

Negative vibes travel faster than any other mood vibes. And they tend to linger on longer too.

If in a house hold of 6 members where you have your in laws living with you, the chance of negative vibes are more. If your oldies are orthodox and conservative like mine and on top of it they have bossy nature. So, when they get to face an opposition or something goes against their thinking then, you are surely in for a blast.

This blast may happen specifically between the two oldies because they finally have no one else to fight with as no one listens to them. You can sense the tension even from 10 feet distance or as in my case, we stay on the upper story of the duplex apartment and they stay on the lower one. When I put my fist step on the stairs, I can feel the gloom of hitting me hard. And I get to know that something has happened downstairs between the two. Their negative vibes loom for days and sometimes it grabs me. The side effects are visible in my hubby also in the form of sad or irritated mood. I get depressive feeling due to this and once I am hit by those monstrous feelings, its very hard to get rid of them easily. Thought I try to keep my cool but it literally takes a lot to stay positive. Sometimes the poor children have to face burnt of it all. I fear my poor sun, who is a pre-teen suffers a lot because of my oldies` negative and narrow mindedness. Poor child has so much of frustration for many issues. I try my best to balance and tell him to practice meditation and learn to practice patience. He is sometimes not able to control his anger. I am worried about him.

Sometimes the negative vibes take a toll on our relation too…days pass with the communication stranded. May be there are situations with you also when you too dont want to talk with any one. May be you feel that if you talk your barrier on anger may give away or you might want to tell straight forward to them about their immature behavior. I don't know how many of you relate or agree with my point; but one thing is for sure, that negativity invites sadness which invites doom. May be its bit exaggerated but its true.

Though I suffer the heartache of being at the receiving end I try to come out of it as soon as I can.

Thrilled.

Thesedays I am in ‘Pink City’ Jaipur. My daughter is going for clasicaal dance classes here too, thoufh short term course. Here the timings are same, 5 to 6 pm. The class is in basement so I have to weight outside if I wish to, that is on the ground floor.

Sometimes I see a lady here, who comes to drop and pick her daughter, just like me. I never talk to strangers but one evening the lifht went off while I went to drop my daughter, so was waiting for her to let me know whether there is class or not, when the same lady came smiling to me and stopped infront of my scooter, so had to ask her, ‘ what?’ Then she started talking about every topic from jer daughter’s dance class joining to how her relations are with her family. No I am not saying that she was just another talktive pwrson omplaining about family and all, that too to a total stranger, but she was sharing her problem with me. A well educated at2d lady who actually worked as a college lecturer, now full time mother who was denied to work onve married. So at length she said that her in laws were not letting her go to her parents place, which is in anothee city. And I just suggested her to make her decision and let them know instead of asking for their permission. After that day, I met her two days later,i.e yesterday.

Sh3 was so happy I mean her face was glowing and her eyes were beaming with happiness. She came running to me when I went to pick my daughter, and holding my hands she started thanking me. She was so ezcited that first 5 minutes she couldn’t say anything but smiled and giggled. After restoring her breath, she managed to say,’where were you, so many days? Why didn’t we met earlier?’ Then she revealed that taking my suggestion seriously, she kept on thinking whole night and the next morning informed about her decision to her family. To me she said that I was the first person who knows that her tickets were confirmed and that she is leaving on a particular date. She didnt tell this to her husband also. She was so happy taking her own decision and finalising it that now onwards sje wanted to cary this carefree attitude, in every walk of her life. She even felt sorry that we will be in touch for few days. She asked for my number so that we can be in touch even when I rerurn back to my place.

This experience was so thrilling, I mean someone getting so much happiness from just talking to me, totally a new thing for me. This reminds me of one more incident, occured few days prior ro this one. In a parlor, the lady attendant who was giving me pedicure, suuddenly startd shari g her painful experiences at home, with me. And gave her number saying if and whenever I require any service I can call her. She too said that she felt very light hearted after talking to me.

I don’t know what to make out of this but it gave me immense pleasure. And to be true, thrill and excitement. Just felt like sharing so did. If anyone can throw some light over this then please do.

Sunshine after Rainyday

A goodnews for me and for all of you who wished and blessed me. Last two days were very bad and shrouded with gloomyness for me.

But not taking you all through that glommy ride, I will cut short and come to the point. If you remember in my post ‘Desires not wishes’ I talked about my one desire to start my own you tube chennel, so 90% of it is materialsed and if everything goes fine in May, I will start shooting for it.

The shortcomings I was facing or am facing will be taken care of shortly, with the help of a friend and my hubby’s support. So now I can start shooting initial videos and after editing and all, I may post in July.

This day I am full happy and my excitement is overflowing. I am feeling free from some sort of cage. Even my ‘urban photography’ has got approval and I got some gutts to ask for camera and lengthy talk about my passion for photography and shoots to my husband.

One more good news I want to share is that, my photographs are getting good response and I am now trying my hands on streetphotography and urban, too

Getting good response on these is taking me to 7thheaben. TodayI am on cloud 9. Though the sadness is there, it wont go but atleastI can face it with some light. I can keep the dark thoughts at some distance.

Need your all, blessings and good wishes.

I found a best friend not a Lover.

What I wanted in life … was nothing more than a satisfied life. A life filled with love and care. A  best friend in husband. A one with whom I can laugh, sing and dance without thinking for any reason. With whom could live my simplest dreams. One with whom I would love to cook dinner or make cakes and coffee. Share some lovey dovey nothings in the evening, leaning on his shoulder and he playing with my hair. A person whom I could tell everything and anything. Could joke and laugh at. Could go to movies and eat popcorn. Sometime enjoy paani puri or any street food. Make him dance to my tunes, dancing on his tunes already. If I had any problem could tell him without any second thoughts or if he was tensed could lend him ear and if possible help him out. Would go out in evenings alongside the lake or morning walks. Would love to sink in his deep eyes and loose myself in his smiles. Would love to go on adventures with and on long tours where we taste the local food togather, night drives. Would loved to take a stroll on the beach holding his hand.

Though we have the whole life together I would want him to miss me the next moment I move out of room as I would miss him the very second I leave to start my day, keeping the warmth of his pure love. I would want to see him trying out new things, risking his job to fulfil his passion. I would love to spend my weekends lying cozily at home watching our favrioute movies munching at snacks and food ordered from restaurant. Even movie outings and some resorts or dinner dates would be lovely with him. 

In the early mornings when we are waking up I want to lay awake beside him and tickling him, talking of sweet nothings or his future plans for us or his career. I love to put love notes hidden in his cupboard for him to discover and write long love letters and emails. Sometimes some favourite lines of a song messaged to him so he can feel my love and think about me and give a smile just to puzzle everyone, what’s on his mind.

There would be times when we may not agree on one point and have argument, or small love fights. I push him away to be recollected in his arms and if the argument grows going to bed without speaking a word to eachother but when we wake up in the morning, everything washed out of our mind and only compassion resides for each other. In whose company I can cry my ugliest and still feel beautiful. Want to celebrate good times and grieve the bad ones togather. In the arms of whom I feel safe and secure and open my heart to, talk as much without thinking before opening my mouth. The comfort level that can be shared with only best friend.

This all would have been so magical, if only it was possible. A friend is always better than a lover. There is no other relationship like friendship. And what’s better than finding that one relationship in your life partner. The best life one could have. No jealousy, no competition, only happiness and compassion. A friend and love roled togather in one, I always looked for that kind of person to spend my life with. Spend my days in carefree manner surrounded with all that the life could offer me. A life lived to fullest is dream life, seems so easy and simple, but at the end it’s Life spelt in bold. It has some of its own flaws but then it’s beautiful as it’s ONLY one thing we cannot relive. So I have found My Man, Best Friend and a Lover all roled into one…My Hubby darling. He is the best life could offer me. I fell in love, am in love and will stay in love with my bestest friend ever. With him I share my soul, that is what the closeness with him means to me.

500 likes!

I know that it’s not a big thing for many out there but for me it’s an achievement hard earned, so I am thankful to all the readers and writers who supported me and encouraged me. Though it was couple of days ago but it took time for me to believe it and secondly I was gathering courage to write thankyou note for all of you because I was not sure how all will react or what they will think of me for feeling so great for it. But then I finally convinced myself that for me it is great thing to be accepted by so many people and thus showing gratitude is what is correct on my part. In fact it is well required action. So once again to all readers and writers out in the blogsphere I am thankful and hope to get their support and encouragement in the future also.