So strong is the feeling of Betrayal that I feel Betrayed by my words. The flow is not constant, the feelings are not sustainable. I am just blabbering some or the other thing now and then, ’cause that too is not constant and how could it be when my words have betrayed me. No words, no feelings … no me. I am just finished. The pain is so deep and so strong that everything has numbed. There are times when I can not feel, express or share anything. This is what the betrayal has done to me.
Days pass and turn to weeks but I am still holding a pencil but the page is white as milk and when screen stares blankly at my face as if I am a hollogram of myself, its then I realise the emptyness within me. When I look into the mirror I see someone who looks like me but is not me. The home which used to be mine holds me like a stranger. I dont know how much more damage has been done, I am just on my trail to hunt for the treasure of pain. Every new day is a new discovery.
If today my flow is looking continued, then pray, it stays longer this time. I want to tell many stories, write many poems and lot more I can do with my words. I can find myself or atlest hold on to life.
Love you all wonderful people out there who give me strength and encouragement.
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