Sometimes life plays such a googly that you can only wish everything else was just your imagination. But you know it’s not and you pray harder for it to be your negative thinking and deep inside you know the truth and you pray harder.
But the thought sets so deep inside that you don’t know when it starts to show up on your face and people start questioning you ‘what’s wrong with you?’ Or ‘what happened to your face, why does it appear so different?’ Then you realise that what you thought has passed away, actually has seeped in deep in your soul.
Some times I feel that I should not share my problem of anxiety with one who never has suffered it even once in life. No matter how patiently you try to explain they will retaliate back whenever they get the opportunity of hurting you. May be in anger they say something which hurts you but it doesn’t lessens the pain.
Somewhere I read that a time comes when the pain becomes so deep that it numbs our feelings and we stop complaining and explaining. I think I am going through that phase. Some more time that I would stop talking about it, completely. May be that’d be better as I won’t bother anyone won’t hurt anyone. Wish for me please I reach that stage soon, where I can’t feel anything to express it, to complain about it.
Love you all who pray for me and those who don’t still love to have you around.