My thoughts and laundry.

In my small living room or should I call it an open space just outside the room, in a corner I have kept a place for the laundry when I take it off the wire when it’s dried. 

I keep piling it as long as I can. I mean I just don’t have the heart to fold them neatly and keep them in the respective place. Call me a lazy person or whatever you may like but I can’t do it. Though I tried many times but after doing it once I am back to ground zero. It starts piling up again. I know it looks ugly but then it’s hidden from everyone’s eyes. Only I see it as it’s in my approach. And one day when it can no longer take the burden of clothes the heap starts falling down then I try to tuck them up and it doesn’t help instead creates extra work for me. So without any wish to sort that mess out I have to put them in their respective place which gives me tension and I do it so disgracefully that it looks so unorganised in my cupboard. In my hubby’s and kids cupboard it’s all managed because for them I have to keep it neat and cleanly organised but when it comes to my clothes I am always clumsy and mismanaged. 

Today a thought striked me that same goes with my thoughts too. They keep on building up in my mind and I keep storing them. It’s not that I don’t want to express them but have no heart or guts.  I don’t know why whenever I think to write or say them my mind stops me from doing so. They keep piling in my head, the thoughts of all kind and nature. It feels so stuffy in there that I start suffocating of my own thoughts.  I did try many a times to sort them out but I am always confused, worried, anxious and so much more.

When I try to write them down the mind is in such a rush that it is not properly organised and what I write I myself don’t understand. But at least I am free of burden and for a while I feel free and light. But this feeling is not for long my thoughts start storing up again as I am so clumsy and anxious to sort them out. I feel concious to express and besides it feels better that they should stay in my mind where no one can read, feel or understand or misunderstand them and thus no pain, all locked up sagely no matter how? But then it again starts suffocating again and I have to force myself to express them, in any manner and in any condition whether sorted and organised properly or not. It comes down on the pages of my diary or the screen, and stored. Now a days I even burden you people out with the over flow of the thoughts.

Whatever I do, how much I write and express…I come to ground zero every time with more of the thoughts forming up in mind. Some are beautiful,some are pitiable and some are full of anger. Hope I am able to hide some of the ugliness of my mind and thoughts when I put them on display. Here I go anxious again and blabbering out something or the other. The vicious cycle of thoughts downloading and uploading keeps on going and my mind keeps cherning but not pouring out outcome of this.

I take your leave or else will keep on going on like this may be for eternity or at least as long as it takes my mind to be empty.

Image: whisper

4 thoughts on “My thoughts and laundry.

  1. I think I can relate to this more than anyone else here ! I undergo the same . I get confused all the time , I do not express ,I stack up things inside and when it comes out one day it explodes with a loud noise . I have started telling myself it’s common .its absolutely normal to be that way . It is just the overthinking mind which worries about others than itself

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lol…a big one! When it explodes its very nasty. I fear that situation…because sometimes I become aggressive. I know its common but som
      e people don’t get this. and that makes the situation more complicated…lol

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s